The Wilmslow Half Marathon's How to upset a race secretary.

Things This Race Organiser Hates About ...

Entry Forms And SAEs

Incomplete forms. I'm not psychic (but may well be psychotic). I've even had one form without a name!

Indecipherable forms. I'll make my best guess but don't complain if a scribbled "Davey James" gets entered as "Daisy Jane"! It is particularly important to ensure email addresses are clear. (It's amazing how many people don't know their own email address. Some are obviously wrong but not all of them can be guessed correctly.)

Undersize SAEs. If the entry form asks for a large envelope it's 'cos the stuff won't fit into a microscopic one. In the paraphrased words of a fellow organiser: "I don't have a black belt in origami!"

Oversize SAEs. OK, they're not as bad as undersize ones but some have been truly ginormous and rather unwieldy, even when folded down for storage. If I want you to send tablecloths I'll ask for them!

Recycled SAEs with no means of sticking. "It only needs a bit of sellotape" ain't funny when you're stuffing 2,000 envelopes. (It took forty man hours to pack the final details for 2001's Grizzly. One of the runners sent an SAE which had previously been used for at least two other races and wasn't even 9x6 as had been requested!)

Self-stick SAEs which are self-stuck by the time they get to us. Like "It only needs a bit of sellotape" but worse 'cos I have to unstick it first.

No SAEs. You wouldn't forget your SAE, would you? (Adding extra dosh to cover the price of a stamp and envelope misses the point - it's not the cost so much as the hassle of having to address envelopes that I'm trying to avoid.)

AEs without Ses. You'd be surprised what people forget. (I've even had an SAE and cheque without an entry form!)

Dear Sir. The envelope is addressed to The Lean, Mean Runner Bean yet the letter inside begins Dear Sir. What?!? Would I refer to myself as The LMRBean if I wanted to be addressed formally? No! (I'd call myself Sir LMRB ;)

Universal entry forms 'cos ...

  1. Few of them say "send an SAE" so most people using them don't. ALWAYS send an SAE whenever communicating with race organisers unless told otherwise. (Pretty please.)
  2. They are the wrong shape to fit into the specially-adjusted box which will hold exactly the right number of the race's own entry forms very tidily but a few universal forms very untidily.
  3. They don't ask for T-shirt size.
  4. They are so unimaginative. (Mind you, so are most race-specific forms.)

And finally ... not entering into the spirit of the event when you enter. Be imaginative with the form and/or envelope. (My favourite was addressed to The Thin, Moody Green Vegetable of Perambulatory Nature.)


Runners Not Reading Entry Forms

If the entry form says ...Then ...

Clearance of your cheque indicates acceptance; rejected entries will be returned immediately

Don't ring up to complain that you don't know whether or not you're in.

Final details will be sent out when they're ready, hopefully before Christmas

Don't ring up before Christmas complaining that you haven't had them.

Send an SAE

Send one, don't just add a bit onto your cheque to cover postage. I know I've said this before but I'll say it again - I am trying to avoid the hassle of having to address envelopes.


Number Changes

Most races are happy for runners who have entered but then become unable to run to pass on their number to someone else as long as you tell the organisers. A few years ago, the first three women's numbers to cross the Grizzly finish line were all being worn by men which caused no end of chaos in the prize-giving. And there are other, more serious, implications as John Joyner had to say in his report on the Tough Ten 2001 from RunnersWebUK:

Every organiser realises that after making an entry some runners then find they cannot run. As long as the computer is still available its easy to officially "switch" an entry from one name to another and our sincere thanks to people such as Colin Bunting of Tamar Trotters who contacted us early with a request to have several of his numbers re-allocated. Great, easy and we are pleased to help.

Not so when runners switch between themselves - which they should know is against the rules of the sport. So can we record our annoyance with the runner who sold his entry to someone else and, in so doing, initially caused us to allocate a prize to the wrong person - boy, did we really did appreciate that!

Earlier, St John Ambulance had had to treat an injury needing hospital treatment only to find they had the wrong person! Again a number switch - what if the runner had been unconscious and we had contacted the wrong relatives? This did happen in a race elsewhere last year and led to immense distress.

Please, please, please - do NOT run in a number not allocated to you. The troubles it can cause to results, prize giving and medical care are out of all proportion to the rest of our job.


Bandits

If you can't get into a race 'cos it's full then accept the fact gracefully. If you get a number from someone else who is unable to run then most races won't mind you using it as long as you tell the organisers. Race limits are imposed for many reasons such as runners' safety, minimising environmental impact and reducing the effect of bottlenecks on the course so please respect them.

Bandits running without a number (or with an invalid number) are abusing the system and taking advantage of those who accept that they cannot run, not to mention using the facilities paid for by the other runners.

Don't do it!


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© Garry Perratt, 2001